


i've walked this road for many years and wisdom's often failed me

by c0mbeferre



Series: we will return, our flame will burn again [1]
Category: Cow Chop, The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, aleks just wants to get to diamond city, aleks pines, fallout typical violence, james pov only for the first chapter to set the scene, the prequel for the fallout au no one asked for, the rest of cc show up eventually, this will probably get some heavy editing, will my titles ever stop being ridiculously long skipinnish lyrics? no
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-26 12:26:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12058971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0mbeferre/pseuds/c0mbeferre
Summary: "I’m gonna check his pulse, and if he's dead then you're clear, but if he's faking it and you two are running a scam, well..." James patted the large knife dangling from his hip, a silent warning to keep his distance, "I like my odds now that his gun is way over there."“Dude, do I look like I’m friends with him?” Aleks asked, almost haughtily.“You look like trouble.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr @ at0m-cats

James narrowed his eyes into the distance, squinting against the harsh light from the sun, waves of heat distorting the burned out buildings that rose along the horizon. 

He carefully adjusted his hood and goggles then reapplied the makeshift filter he wore over his face, two scavenged medical masks with a layer of crushed charcoal in between them. Someone had given him the advice to use it in more radioactive areas, but he didn’t really know if it was true, so there was a high chance he was slowly poisoning himself. It was hardly a gas mask, but James didn't really want to take any more chances than necessary out in the open Commonwealth, especially with the Glowing Sea being only miles to his West.

A deer ran by around twenty feet from him and he considered trying to plug it with his shotgun but it would have been a wild shot with the makeshift rounds he was using, regardless of the modifications he had spent hours adding to it.

Pausing, he stared at his reflection in the cracked mirror of an abandoned and long looted truck. He was a tall man, and the apocalypse had done wonderful things for his frame, finally forced him into that cut that made his body into something he could be proud of. Beneath his smoke stained goggles and mask he had grim solid features, muddy brown eyes topped a slightly crooked boxers nose and several days worth of stubble on a square jaw. He kept his unruly mane of black hair tied back in a high bun so keep it from sticking to his face, and out of his eyes when he was aiming.

James was dressed simply, a makeshift cloak and hood cobbled together from a green wool army blanket. A plaid work shirt and jeans made up his apparel, his forearms and shins protected by a layer of hammered steel. He wore boots found in a wrecked house and a pair of thick leather gloves, the knuckles of the gloves almost worn through. The toes of the boots were capped with steel he had added himself. 

A movement to his left caused him to freeze, trying to track it's source in the mirror of the truck. If he was lucky, it was a dog and he'd be (guiltily) eating well tonight, but if it was a bandit then things would get very ugly, very fast. He decided to prepare for the latter.

"I've nothing worth dying or being seriously hurt over, dude. Rest assured it will be one or the other,” he drawled with fake friendliness, raising his voice in order for it to carry across the street. 

"Drop the gun and I won't shoot you." A voice from behind him. It sounded young - a teenager?

A soft growl passed through his lips. He lay the shotgun on the ground and pulled the goggles and mask down around his neck then raised his hands above his head before standing and turning, his eyes narrowed with annoyance and anger.

The boy was taller than him and built slightly larger, with a mess of dark hair and thick eyebrows. However, his facial features were still soft, his jaw barely stubbly. The kid couldn't be more than nineteen. He held a .38 pistol in shaking hands and James almost felt bad for him for a second until he gestured for James to drop his backpack and other hidden weapons with the gun. 

James had a large hunting knife hung at his belt, but no other sidearm was visible. Dropping his hands briefly he shrugged out of his pack, dropping it - along with the knife - with a heavy thud.

Glaring at the young man he raised his hands once more to placate him. James started scanning the buildings silently looking for any potential companions the boy may have. He didn’t really believe the kid was idiotic enough to try and jump him by himself.

It was just his fucking luck to get held up by a teenager. 

This really was a shitty day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm just gonna let you know if I feel a bullet in my back, in the last six seconds of my life you and I are gonna get real intimate.”
> 
> Aleks froze for a millisecond, but turned back around with an easy grin, “Intimate, huh? I wouldn’t mind that.”

The Wasteland was desolate around him, any colour that remained was faded and swallowed up by the dull brown of the dust. He had been walking for days; or at least, he felt like he had been walking for days. Exhaustion was starting to creep up on him, sending an uncomfortable shiver down his spine as he sighed, accepting that he would have to find a place to rest before it got much darker. Diamond City must be at least another day’s worth of travel away and Aleks wasn’t willing to risk a run in with a trigger happy idiot in the middle of the night.

He pulled the bandana he wore around his neck further up over his mouth and nose to avoid choking on the loose dust that blew around with the wind. The bright red of the bandana clashed horrifically with the blue and yellow of the now slightly ruined vault jumpsuit. 

Upon first leaving the vault, Aleks had been optimistic. Of course he had; there was a breeze through his hair and actual, real sunlight. The artificial fluorescent bullshit in the vault was nothing in comparison to the real thing, regardless of the radiation in the air. It was so much brighter than the vault.

However, not half an hour into his journey, his viewpoint on the new world had changed drastically. Within minutes, he had been attacked by a radroach, ruined the left leg of his vault jumpsuit and downed his only bottle of purified water because he had spent ten minutes choking on dust. In short, he was not impressed with the Wasteland. 

“This is fucking bullshit,” he muttered under his breath, trying to shake off the sting of the cuts from his encounter with the radroach.

His pipboy, a clunky but familiar weight on his left arm was spitting out static as it desperately tried to pick up the signal for Diamond City Radio. Occasionally, snippets of a familiar song could be heard.

The road he was following was large and had two lanes, so he figured it would lead him to some kind of friendly civilisation or shelter. The only contact he had with humans so far was hiding heroically behind a rock whilst a group of raiders attacked a lone travelling merchant. After they had picked the body clean of useful items and departed, he finally let out a breath and had snuck over to the body, carefully crouched and ready to spring into a run should the raiders return. 

Without looking at the body for too long, he rummaged through his bag and pockets, pulling out the horrific red bandana which he donned immediately, and a stimpack which the raiders had overlooked. 

Now, though, a faded sign advertising Nuka Cola loomed over him, seemingly mocking how parched he was. Ignoring his thirst, he kept walking towards his destination: a small collection of derelict buildings at the bottom of the hill he was descending. 

The buildings seemed to once have been part of a small burrough - maybe even a village if some of the still standing architecture was to be believed. Aleks stumbled over a pothole, his bulky boots just slightly too large for his lean frame. To a passerby, it would be blindingly obvious that he was a vault dweller, even if the bright jumpsuit hadn’t been an immediate giveaway - his hair was still styled similarly to the way he used to wear it. The dark locks weren’t particularly long, but Aleks usually made an effort to keep his hair tidy. Now, though, it was matted and stuck to his face, but still relentless in its dedication to maintaining its pre-war style. 

Over the sounds of the radio, he could hear a voice speaking from around the corner of the nearest building. Instinctively, he switched off his radio and pipboy torch and crouched close to the wall. His grip tightened on the baseball bat he had all but dragged with him from the vault. It wouldn’t do shit if he was attacked - talk about bringing a knife to a gunfight, what was a wooden stick going to do against a hunting rifle? If he was quiet enough, maybe he could sneak past them unnoticed and continue travelling.

Then again, it was starting to get dark and he really didn’t want to be outside when night fell. Any of these buildings would have been a suitable place to camp for the night. Maybe the voices belonged to _friendly Wasters?_ He could hope, at least.

Taking a deep breath, he gathered his courage and poked his head around the corner, praying a silent thank you that they hadn’t heard his PipBoy radio. 

He was a lot closer than he had originally thought - a young boy stood just out of his reach, his back to him, gun outstretched. Sparing a glance at the (note to self: _very_ attractive) man being held at gunpoint, he figured he looked more than capable of taking care of himself. He would be fine. Aleks did not need to play good samaritan and get himself involved; he needed to get his weaponless ass to Diamond City.

Quietly, he looked at the map on his pipboy, but it made little sense to him. All that he got from it was that, from him current position, there was no way to get around this confrontation without bringing attention to himself. Well, shit. 

Aleks had to help one of them to get out of this alive and with all of his limbs, and quite frankly he was more inclined to help to man who looked like he knew the Wasteland and not the kid who looked more terrified than Aleks himself. Besides, he wasn’t _completely_ heartless, he couldn’t just watch a man get executed. 

Mulling over his options, he figured he could do two things. He still had a stimpack in his small bag; maybe offering to trade it would be enough to make the young boy drop the gun. But did he want to waste a stimpack on a stranger? His second option was to just attack with his _baseball bat_ , which wouldn’t get him far, probably.

His body interrupted his thoughts, moving before he had thought the plan through. Stepping out from behind his cover, he raised the baseball bat above his head and…

...kicking a stone. Which, in the silence of their showdown, was enough to gather the attention of the younger boy. He pivoted on the shot, eyes wild and the bat collided sickeningly with his temple before he could shoot at Aleks and with a quick grunt of pain, he collapsed, the pistol skidding across the ground. 

“Oh, fuck! Is he dead? Oh shit, fuck,” Aleks exclaimed, mostly to himself than the man in front of him. His voice was hoarse from misuse and he dropped the bat, shaking his hand violently from the pain caused by the impact. Had he killed him?

Aleks glanced up from the kid on the ground and his shaking hands as the man frowned, toed his shotgun slightly before disregarding it and approached the boy on the ground. Upon reaching him, he glanced down and then back up at Aleks, his gaze fixating on the PipBoy on his wrist. The look made Aleks shift uncomfortably, moving his arm behind his back. Once the line of sight with the PipBoy was broken, the man finally looked Aleks in the eye, his gaze guarded and a little hostile. Aleks’ first thought was that he was going to be murdered for his PipBoy, and he prepared to bolt if the man tried to jump at him, and flinched when the other finally spoke.

"Listen, Jumpsuit, you come at me with that bat then it's not gonna go well for either of us. Now, I’m gonna check his pulse, and if he's dead then you're clear, but if he's faking it and you two are running a scam, well..." He patted the large knife dangling from his hip, a silent warning to keep his distance, "I like my odds now that his gun is way over there."

“Dude, do I look like I’m friends with him?” Aleks asked, almost haughtily. 

“You look like trouble.” He motioned for Aleks to back away, then knelt cautiously. The vault dweller obliged immediately, taking another few steps back as he watched the man feel for a pulse and counting the seconds under his breath. Once he confirmed it, Aleks let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

"I mean, I’m no medic but that's definitely a pulse. He's lucky - you don't take a hit with a bat then talk about it anytime soon in my experience."

Backstepping to his bag, the other man quickly scooped up the shotgun but held it loosely, like a lawyer's briefcase. Kneeling once more he shouldered his pack then paused, as if he was considering leaving. 

With an annoyed growl he stomped back to the unconscious young man and bent to lift him with surprising gentleness and toss him over his shoulder. Aleks let out a low, impressed whistle at the show of strength, but all he got in return was an annoyed glance.

"I may have just killed him by moving, but we can't leave him in the open for the ghouls. It’ll be nightfall in an hour or two and I really don’t want to have this on my conscience. I reckon that pea shooter of his is yours now-” Aleks had no qualms skirting around them and snatching the gun from the ground. “- but I'm just gonna let you know if I feel a bullet in my back, in the last six seconds of my life you and I are gonna get real intimate.”

Aleks froze for a millisecond, but turned back around with an easy grin, “Intimate, huh? I wouldn’t mind that.”

And if he was honest, he really wouldn’t. The other man was around the same height as him, with long, dark, curly hair he had pulled into a tight bun and a short beard that was starting to get a little unruly. Although his face was dirty from the dust, the skin around his eyes was clear, probably due to the aviator goggles around his neck, showing off tanned skin and dark brown eyes. And now that he was properly paying attention and not fearing for his life, Aleks quickly came to the consensus that yes, this man was very attractive and he very much wouldn’t mind getting intimate with him.

His comment was ignored and Aleks decided not to push his luck, instead giving the gun a quick look over, but didn’t pay too much attention to it and placed it in his bag after making sure the safety was off. He knew the basics of how to shoot a gun; he knew which end he needed to point at the thing - or person - he wanted to kill. 

Whilst placing the gun in his bag, his fingers brushed against the stimpack he still had in his bag. The man has said the kid was alive, and Aleks may need the stimpack later for himself. His fingers curled into a fist and he shouldered his bag again, his jaw clenched ever so slightly. His stomach pulled with guilt, but he shook it off and started walking, expecting that the other would follow behind him. 

“So, do you have a name or do you always go around anonymously threatening people and getting held up by teenagers? I mean, you’re talking big for someone who was staring death in the eyes, what-” he made a show of checking his pipboy as if it were a watch, “-less than five minutes ago?”

The long haired man had made several steps worth of headway over the rough terrain before snorting in annoyance and after glancing at Aleks, shook his head with the tiniest hint of a smile on the corners of his mouth. “My name is James.”

“James,” Aleks grinned. It suited him. “I’m Aleks, with a ‘ks’.”

“What kinda fucked up name is that?”

“Russian.”

James looked at him curiously with another glance from his face to his PipBoy, shifting the weight of the young boy on his shoulder. A faint gurgle emanated from the kids throat which gave a slight indication of his condition.

As Aleks walked, his gaze fell to his legs, the shredded material of his jumpsuit blowing slightly in the wind. The sky above them had grown a dark green very rapidly, an indication of in incoming radiation storm.

"As much as I hate to say it, shits looking pretty bleak,” James sighed, squinting as he looked up to the approaching storm. “We need to get this kid in four walls and a roof before this storm hits or I change my mind. Either will be bad for him."

Nearing the line of buildings Aleks glanced at several up and down the line, long since looted of most valuables, however they could still expect a relative degree of safety in them. Finally, after selecting a promising candidate, he glanced upward. Several names crested the entrance to the building and it seemed to be an office of sorts. It wouldn't be much for scavenging but thick bars stood guard over its lower windows. 

Approaching the handsome brass doorknob, James jiggled it grimmly and sighed. Aleks watched as James set down the unconscious would-be highwayman off to the side with surprising gentleness, he then reared back and brought his foot up to slam into the heavy door directly to the right of the lock. Reeling slightly, he fell back with a surprised grunt and stared up from the ground incredulously.

"Okay, that usually works, I swear,” he frowned, rubbing his boot as if that would soothe the aching foot as Aleks held back sniggers. “...you any good with locks? Otherwise, I guess I could boost you up to one of those windows."

He guestered to one of the higher up windows - smaller and thinner than those with the bars. Aleks was lanky and thin, but he threw an incredulous look to James, who shrugged in a _‘what can you do?’_ manner. 

Aleks felt his chest grow warm - James seemed to be warming up to Aleks quickly. Which was nice… unless he was planning to kill Aleks once he let his guard down. If he was being honest, part of Aleks was expecting James to turn on him for his PipBoy. 

PipBoys were rare and priceless, incredibly useful for surviving in the Wasteland. Without his own helping him track his radiation level and status conditions, Aleks probably would have already been dead. Sure, it was nice to joke and flirt, but nothing would come of this meeting with James. It wasn’t worth dying, no matter how good looking James was.

Giving a mock salute, he moved towards the lock, giving a quiet teasing comment about brain over brawn. Bending down, he carefully inspected the lock, his fingers running over it as he squinted in concentration. Eventually he stood, turning to face James with a small of shake of his head. 

“I could open it, it doesn’t look too difficult. But I don't have any hair pins or anything I could use as a lockpick,” he grumbled, rubbing his eye with a deep sigh as he craned his neck to look up at the window. “Guess I’m going through there. Fuck. This sucks, I- fuck dude, I swear, if I see another radroach in there, I’m going to kneecap you,” he threatened, his tone deceptively light as he pointed at James.

Aleks took a few steps backwards, eyeing the windows before approaching the nearest one, notably giving the unconscious boy a wide berth. He jumped to see if he could reach the window on his own, but it was quickly fairly obvious he couldn’t and he motioned for James to link his fingers and give him a boost up to the window he was under. His palms were already sweaty with nerves - although Aleks would absolutely drop to his knees and blow this man _right now_ if it was offered, regardless of the incoming rad storm, he was still convinced he might get a blow to the head if he turned his back.

Immediately, his heart dropped to his stomach as James reached for his shotgun. He must have saw Aleks tense up because he raised his free hand placatingly. Chambering a round into the shotgun, James clicked on the safety and held it out to Aleks with and expectant expression.

"Park it against the meat of your shoulder, here between the apex of the armpit and base of the collarbone. If you're worried about the kick you can also use your hip. Anything moves in there, you put a hole in it. No guessing with Jolene, just announce her to the room and let her say hello in a general direction."

“I know how to shoot a gun,” Aleks lied, distracted from the lecture by the easy and familiar way James’ fingers wrapped around the gun. He frowned, a crease forming between his brows. “You called your gun Jolene?”

“S’what the merchant called her when I bought her. I mean, I added some modifications…” James suddenly sounded unsure, as if he might retract the offer. “Are you going to take it or not?”

And - wow. Okay, that’s some trust he was giving Aleks. Almost reluctantly, Aleks reached out and took the shotgun. Jolene felt heavy in his grip and immediately, Aleks wished he had been paying attention when James explain how to use the shotgun instead of watching how the veins in his hands had raised as he had held the gun because he was suddenly aware that this gun could easily dislocate his shoulder if he used it wrong. Almost as an afterthought he wondered why James had offered him the shotgun instead of attempting to breach the door by blowing off the lock - if Aleks died in there, he was out a well maintained and seemingly meaningful firearm.

Shifting to sidestep over the boy, James moved towards the wall and took up a deep squat, lacing his fingers together to form a stable launching point for Aleks. His expression implied that he wasn’t too happy about sending Aleks in alone, but if that’s what he was thinking, he didn’t voice it.

"I suggest we get inside quickly, Aleks. Radroaches or not I don't want to spend the evening out here."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Congratulations, asshole. You killed a dead man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again this is unbeta'd and will probably go through editing

Using James’ linked hands as a boost, Aleks reached for the window ledge. Luckily, the window was already open slightly and he managed to slip his arm through enough with a small amount of effort, Aleks pried it open enough to get himself through. It was quickly obvious he would need both hands to get himself inside, though, so he dropped the shotgun through the window and it fell with a loud clang. Yikes. Face contorted into a grimace, he didn’t dare turn to look at James as he pulled himself up. Jolene would be fine. Probably. The gun seemed sturdy enough to withstand a little height.

Aleks dropped into the darkness, turning on his pipboy light and picking up the shotgun. Heart pounding in his chest, he convinced himself that he wasn’t scared of the unknown. The pipboy torch light everything in a green hue - from what he could see there were a few desks with pre-war computer terminals, and two doors behind them, presumably leading to a bathroom and another office.

Everything around him was quiet, but he held the shotgun up regardless. Turning to the right, he saw a - something. A body, a shadow? His heart leapt to his throat and he let out a - very masculine - yell, his finger pulling the trigger without his braining telling it to. The blast was a cacophony in the still of the late afternoon air, the butt of the gun recoiled sharply into his shoulder and he dropped the gun with a stream of expletives, tears welling in his eyes at the pain.

Aleks took a few deep breaths, blinking away the tears. Fuck, that hurts. His shoulder continued to throb heavily and he could vaguely make out James’ voice asking what was going on. He gathered himself together and shone the light again. It was a body, heavily decayed but not quite a skeleton yet and most importantly: not alive, and not a feral ghoul. A small, basic pistol lay on the floor by its near skeletal hand, and the wall was decorated with a dark splatter. He gagged, covering his mouth with his hand as the smell reached him.

He was jumping at shadows in here - a quick glance around the rest of the building told him he was alone.

Time to check out the bathroom and get the main door open. Trying the handle of the door closest to him, he found it to be locked. Perhaps he didn’t want to see what was inside, if the body behind her was anything to go by. The bathroom thankfully wasn’t locked, but it was covered in grime and smelled only the tiniest bit less musty than the main office. The taps still had running water, but when he took a greedy sip from it, his pipboy beeped; a friendly reminder that he had contracted very mild radiation poisoning. Nothing that would kill him in the long run.

Back in the main room, he started digging through desks, throwing clipboards and mugs to the side. _Aha! Thank fucking God, some good news for once._ He triumphantly looked at the handful of bobby pins he had found, pocketing them in his bag and moving back towards the main door, finally noting the pounding of James knocking on the door. Oops.

Although his shoulder and collarbone throbbed painfully, and his right hand shook a little due to the pain, he was able to unlock the door swiftly without breaking any of his newly found bobby pins.

Picking the shotgun up with his good arm he opened the door, taking a side step to allow James access. His injured arm was cradled closely to his chest as he tried not to jostle it and keep it out of sight. Sure, James had seemingly warmed up to him and _maybe_ Aleks is just paranoid, but being injured just made him easier to kill if James decided to turn on him.

“Fuck, dude,” James snapped at him from the doorway, looking panicked. “I was about to blow up the door with a frag grenade, you asshole, and I mean - it probably would have been a bad idea, I don’t know what the building’s foundations are like, that could have trapped you in the building. But honestly, dude, what the fuck? How hard is it to say that you’re fine?!”  
  
Aleks didn’t know how to respond to that, so he did the same as he always did in situations he had no control over - he said nothing, merely gave a one shouldered shrug. James pushed passed him into the room but he was - rubbing his shoulder? Had he been trying to get through the door after hearing the gun shot?

Yikes, Aleks was touched and he felt his cheeks heat up. Trust him to embarrass himself in front of the very attractive wastelander who also might want to kill him.

“All good in here,” he offered at James’ concerned look, a small but forced smile on his lips as he returned the gun to him.

James took the gun from him and slipped further into the room, racking a round as he entered the dingy building. Bringing it to his shoulder with a reassuring hum, he took in the room slowly, allowing time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Aleks left the door open for the moment to allow what natural light was left to illuminate the office.

The corpse lay mostly undisturbed after Aleks’ brief scare, about three feet above it a mixture of nails and crushed glass jutted from the wall. Several rats scampered away from their meal and possible dwelling place when James approached. Aleks’ followed James’ line of sight; it was a good shot, if only he'd compensated for the recoil.

Noticing the corpses firearm, James knelt and racked the slide and (sans the round the unfortunate soul had used to take its life) it was a fully loaded nine millimeter handgun in good repair. He tucked it into his waistband and stood.

"Congratulations, asshole, you killed a dead man," He drawled, his tone slightly mocking as he turned to look at Aleks and eaved vaguely at the corpse.

In response, Aleks simply sneered from his spot near the doorway. “Shut up. It could have been something super dangerous. It was dark.”

Heading for the entrance to recover the unconscious boy, James paused and again seemed to be considering something to himself. Whatever it was, he didn’t voice it, instead hauling the kid up over his shoulder and letting Jolene hang from his shoulder sling.

"We should barricade the door. This place is pretty safe otherwise."

Aleks decided to have a look at the other side of the room as James fetched the boy he very easily could have killed. There was little they could use as a bed or even a gurney for the young boy besides the desks. The throbbing pain in his shoulder was starting to worry him a little as the pain hadn’t yet faded like a bruise would. Hopefully he hadn’t broken his collarbone with the shotgun, but the sharp pain that ran up his arm when he tried to move a computer terminal to the side warned him otherwise.

He tried to reach out with his right, injured arm but bit back a yelp, his eyes tearing up again as he breathed deeply through his nose. He took another quick few seconds to compose himself, glad James wasn’t looking. Wrapping his left arm around the terminal, he managed to drag it to the side of the desk, albeit slowly.

James frowned briefly when he returned, quietly watching as Aleks cleared the handsome mahogany desk, pushing papers and various knick knacks to the floor with an unceremonious thump.

“You can lie him on the desk, it’s at least better than the ground,” the vault dweller offered. It’s not like office was particularly ideal for sleeping in, but the table seemed a more viable option than the floor.

Letting his pack fall, James placed it on the table to support the kids head as he laid him down on the desk. His legs were too long and hung over the edge of the desk and he looked so young and so peaceful and Aleks felt so guilty. Sweeping off his ragged overcoat, James placed it over the boy like a makeshift blanket.

  
Hovering in front of a small table he planned to put against the front door, Aleks paused, deliberating.

“Hey, man,” he paused, reconsidered, but then continued. “Wanna help me get rid of that,” he waved his hand in the general direction of the corpse, “thing? It makes me real fuckin’ uncomfortable and I would _really_ rather we didn’t barricade ourselves in with it. It’s just gross as hell.”

His hand rubbed the back of his neck, tugging at the longer strands. Once they were settled, he would get have a look at his shoulder, his arm now was hanging lamely at his side. He had a stimpack - it wouldn’t be an instant fix, but it would speed up the healing process.

Moving towards the corpse, James grimaced before gripping the seat the corpse was on, waving Aleks away who had been hovered by James’ arm, uselessly offering to help. Maybe he hadn’t been so clever in hiding his injury, after all. Twisting the chair around to face the corpse away from him, James dragged the entirety of the grisly mound towards the door with a little strain and to Aleks’ delight he did look a little grossed out by his closeness to the corpse.

Aleks held the door open for James - he could at least do that to assist - who grunted as he finally passed the door frame and with set the corpse and chair outside. With a sigh, he tossed the corpse off of the chair, letting it fall to the ground.

As he moved to step back inside, a brief flicker of movement from across the road caught Aleks’ eye. He squinted to try and get a better look, but as soon as he began glancing around he realized he couldn't see anything, much to his annoyance. With a confused frown, he silently closed the door once James had made his way back in the building. The room fell into darkness, with little light being let in by the barred windows Aleks turned the flashlight of his PipBoy back on.

"There's candles in the side pocket of my bag,” James said as he locked the door, then shimmied the chair under the handle for extra security. Aleks shot him a confused glance. “We need some more light in here. I don’t really wanna sit in the dark all night, that’s just depressing. Get the candles for me? But just light one at first, I don't smell anything but a gas leak is within the realm of possibility."

Rummaging through the pocket he had mentioned, Aleks pulled out a candle and a pack of matchsticks, setting the candle on one of the other desks. He sat himself on top of the desk, his legs swinging slightly as he fumbled with the match in his left hand. Luckily, it lit on the first strike and soon the room was dimly lit from the glow of the candle. Idly, he acknowledged that James was much more prepared for survival in the wasteland - all Aleks had in his bag was the gun he had picked up outside, a stimpack, 200 caps and one can of Pork’N’Beans. Granted, James had been in the Wasteland a lot longer than him.

“No explosions yet,” he observed with a grin, shaking out the flame on the match. Once the possibility of a gas leak was removed, he would relight the match with the lit candle, rather than waste a second match.

Aleks kept his hands close to the open flame - the cold was starting to creep in as the moon rose in the sky. Nights in the Wasteland could get startlingly cold, he had been quick to notice, regardless of how hot it was during the day.

James, who had been examining the boy on the table, approached Aleks slowly, removing the gun from his waistband and offering it to Aleks cautiously, arm outstretched. Apparently he’d noticed how skittish Aleks had become when James had gifted his shotgun. _Fuck_ , why did he have to be considerate right now? All he was doing was making it harder for Aleks to bounce when the time came for them to go their separate ways.

"You haven’t got enough meat on you for too much firepower. Here, you take this and give the kid his revolver if he wakes up.”

Taking the gun from him with a loose grip, Aleks placed it in the bag with the young boy’s gun he had claimed earlier. “And what if he tries to shoot you again with it? Or me, since I knocked him the fuck out and probably cost him a few brain cells?”

The bat itself had been abandoned outside, he could collect it in the morning if it was still there. If not, it wasn’t too much of a loss - he had the guns now.

Gesturing to Aleks’ bag of belongings, James held his hand in a pistol shape, pretending to shoot at the bag. The quiet gunshot noises he made shocked Aleks into muffled snickers. It wouldn’t be until later that Aleks fully realised how much effort James put in to easing the vault dweller’s nerves.

"The corpse out there won't miss it. I mean, judging by the looks of it he never used it except for in his last hours. So in a way he lived his entire life, laughing, loving, surviving… just so you could have that pistol. And that's why we're going to return his."

“Alright. Kid can have his gun back,” Aleks replied, and after a beat of silence, continued with an uncomfortable frown, “That corpse… I can’t imagine killing myself, even in the Commonwealth.”

"Death is just as much part of existing as life is, we're nothing without purpose, I guess. Unfortunately the purpose of many is to die."

Aleks could only stare at James incredulously, and James only lasted a few more seconds with a straight face before he burst into a full-bellied laugh.

His laugh sounded like a song and Aleks was high on the sound of it, laughing along at how _deep_ James had tried to make himself seem and soon he was wiping at the corners is his eyes, struggling for breath.

It was the hardest Aleks had laughed… ever? For as long as he could remember. It wasn’t even that funny, but their situation was so bizarre, the fragile connection forming between them slowly solidifying with their laughter.

Aleks winced as pain shot down his arm, his laughter finally dying down.

James frowned, finally seeing the way Aleks was babying his right side.

“Hey… something’s not right. Your shoulder okay?” he asked, his voice as soft as his gaze.

Fuck, fuck. Fuck. James needed to stop being so _nice_ to him because Aleks did _not_ want to get attached. He was gonna ride this night out, get directions to Diamond City, and then bolt.

“It’s fine, Doc,” Aleks managed to reply with a steady grin. James’ gaze flickered to his shoulder and back up to his face with a displeased, exasperated expression. Aleks caved, but only after he attempted to nonchalantly roll his shoulders to show _just how fine he was_ and flinching from the pain. “Fuck, fine, it really fuckin’ hurts. It might be a bit more than a bruise. I don’t know shit about medicine though. It only hurts when I move or breathe, so it’s not too bad.”

As he moved closer, James reached out to touch Aleks’ injured shoulder. To his credit, Aleks only flinched away a little, letting out a heavy breath at the spike of pain from the touch.

James hummed, "Best case you dislocated it, worse case you cracked your collarbone. I can fix the first one but the seconds gonna take some work. Do you trust me?"

Aleks nodded, his eyes drifting shut. And to his immense surprise, he realised it wasn’t entirely a lie.

He _was_ starting to trust James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the chapter titles etc are various skipinnish lyrics


	4. Chapter 4

The vault that Aleks had been born in, grew up in and assumed he would die in, had been built in a hurry. One of the last to be ‘finished’; it didn’t have the same sleek interior advertised in the pre-war magazines and television shows. The vault did its job - it kept the radiation out, but most of the walls inside had exposed wiring, never quite enough power in the vault to have the lights as bright as they should be. It wasn’t much of a choice - the air and water filters took priority.

By the time Aleks was born and old enough to explore, it was a pitiful excuse for a vault. Sections of the vault would suddenly lose power, the temperature would plummet and the inhabitants would have unexplained injuries. Most of the wall and door panels were rusted, giving the vault an abandoned look, even though it was still very much in use.

Aleks hated it.

With his eyes closed and James silently prodding his shoulder, Aleks could believe he was back in the Vault, as if nothing had happened. And he was back there, in his bedroom as their wing lost power. As darkness settled around him like a blanket, the heavy thud of the metal door sealing shut and powering down and he was _trapped_ in the room until the power came back on and what if it _didn’t_ and he was stuck there in the darkness. He remembered his hands shaking, from fear and from the sudden chill that filled the room and if there had been light, he knew he would be able to see his breath. He _remembered_ the coldness, the steady tap of footsteps even though he was alone, when _something_ touched his face, when _something_ whispered to him and _no one believed him, no one belie-_

"He wouldn't have shot me,” James said, suddenly.

Aleks’ eyes shot open, shocked out of his stupor, “What?”

“Most people are born good, it takes a lot to convince a someone to kill a man, and he's barely even got hair on his cheeks.”

Silently seeking permission with his extremely slow movements, James continued prodded at his shoulder briefly.

"Definitely a dislocation. Slight but still an issue, that leather jumpsuit saved you some trouble. I've set my own arm a few times, so I'll do yours later once we’ve settled in."

Aleks nodded. Although his arm hurt, he knew that fixing a dislocated arm would definitely hurt more, even for the few seconds, so he was happy to wait for it.

Taking a step back, James switched tones, slight drawl turning into a more droning sound as he began a story. Almost as an after thought he began tugging at Aleks’ hair gently as his breath evened out again, dislodging several days worth of knots with quick practiced tugs so as to convey a comforting nature to the action.

“I was raised on a farm, you know.”

Aleks was completely frozen under the touches. What was James _doing?_ Finally, Aleks realised his hands were visibly shaking, hard, and he curled them into a fist on his lap.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, and his voice was rough, from pain, from remembering.

Fuck, James was trying to _comfort him_.

"When I younger, I was wounded. My… family had to leave me behind. I was found by a man who was very educated. This man had a daughter, and while the man taught me to write and speak with purpose and gave me a place to live and labor to fill my days, she taught me to fix her hair,” James continued, ignoring Aleks’ question. He couldn’t help the jealousy that was bubbling inside him which was stupid, he didn’t know anything about James. “She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, long black hair and a huge nose-"

“-wait, what?” Aleks interrupted, his brows furrowed in confusion.

With this moment of confusion, James seized Aleks' shoulder and rotated the joint counterclockwise with a savage jerk. The popping joint sounded like an ice covered lake shattering in the small room and he clamped a large calloused hand over Aleks’ mouth to stifle the loud pained cursing that immediately escaped before quickly resuming his story.

"-long upswept ears and legs that went on forever. A horse, he called her. They still flourish in Arizona in small pockets, some areas of New Mexico and Texas. But she was his daughter nonetheless and the pride of his farm. Her name was Amanda."

“Fuck you,” Aleks hissed, blinking away the tears that formed from the sharp shock of pain, silently thankful he didn’t bite into his tongue. He glared up at James who had the gall to look pleased with himself, a shit eating grin on his face. “That’s not even funny, what the fuck? That hurt like a bitch. Some warning would have been nice, asshole.”

James was laughing properly now, the sound coming easier. Aleks snatched his arm away, and although the pain was already fading to a steady thudding, he scowled. He could feel his face burning up.

“Was any of that even true?” he grumbled, nursing his arm, which only made James chuckle more.

“I don’t know,” his grin was smug and the fucker  _winked_ at Aleks. “Was it true?”

“Fuck you, man,” Aleks spat, again, because he was embarrassed and not very imaginative.

Suddenly, James’ laughter halted, brows furrowed as he brought finger to his lips to shush Aleks, listening intently. The atmosphere of the room had changed, a tenseness settling around them like a heavy blanket.

“What? Did you hear something?” Aleks dropped his voice to a low mock whisper, taking in James’ sudden mood change.

Instead of replying James bounced into action, rushing over to the unconscious boy in a few long strides. He bent slowly over him as if to kiss him, staring intently at the unconscious kids lips and eventually turning his head, listening to his breaths. After several seconds he stepped away and held ran a hand through his tied back hair, letting a few strands loose with the movement. He knelt to shoulder his shotgun and turned to Aleks with a wild eyed expression. Motioning for the vault dweller to crouch, he mouthed a silent request for quiet.

Ears straining, Aleks almost called James out, chastised him for being paranoid, until the raspy strained moan drifted through the air again. Almost soft enough to miss. Only James had heard it the first time, Aleks paying too much attention to his own embarrassment and James’ joyful laughter. He didn’t miss it this time.

"Fuck." He cursed, quietly, eyes darting madly around the room. Feral ghouls were nothing to joke about, especially if they swarmed you.

“One or two we could handle,” James murmured lowly, confirming Aleks’ fears. “On a good day, four times that number wouldn't be a problem, but…”

But they lacked the day portion of that equation, and the good considering the boys condition and Aleks' arm.

“The bars should hold though, right?” Aleks asked, nodding towards the thick, heavy bars over the window.

“If we’re lucky. They look pretty secure, but I’ve seen starving ferals rip half-inch steel plating off of settlement walls before.”

Aleks slid off of his perch, moving at quietly as possible to get a line of sight out of the window.

And true to the nature of the beast, a feral ghoul crouched motionless outside the law firms windows, it's vacant, gaunt-cheeked gaze almost unnerving if not for the childlike purity to its emaciated grin. It was a young woman - or had been, once - the remnants of her stringy blonde hair hung in clumps over her face like a brides veil.

"Don't move, don't look her in the eye." James murmured, settling back against the desk the boy rested on. Pivoting his head slowly like a cat in the sun he spoke in a slow robotic monotone barely higher than a whisper. Aleks assumed he was trying to comfort him, but his breath was caught in his throat. There were more out there than just the one ghoul, he knew it. He heard it.

"She’s young, recently feral. Curious. Doesn't have the hunger yet, you make any quick movements she'll scream for the ones that do."

Aleks pulled his new handgun out, knuckles white around the handle under the pressure of his grip. And to think that he had been complaining about radroaches. Mutated animals like bloatflies and radroaches were actually very little of a danger to her in comparison to this. Idly, he wondered if it - she? - would wander off, or if they would be stuck here for a while.

Eventually, Aleks let out a small sigh, shifting his weight to the other foot. When James stayed silent, he decided that he might as well sit down while they waited this out, rather than continue to impersonate a statue. As he made his way back to the table he had been sitting on, his feet suddenly gave out under him as he slipped on a previously unseen spot of dust and grime and for a moment the world _span_.

Immediately, his hand reached out to grab the closest thing he could steady herself with; the desk leg. It allowed him to steady himself without too much movement, but the motion had been enough to disturb the candle on the desk. Time slowed as he watched it topple, his hand reached out to grab it but his fingers merely grazed it. The candlestick hit the floor, the metal colliding with the concrete with a dull thud as it then skidded under the table, like a mouse scurrying into a hole in the wall. It reverberated throughout the room, and he could only hope the concrete walls muffled most of the sound to the outside.

From his crouch, he sat himself on the floor and shuffled to under the window in hopes of lessening the chance of being spotted. Mouthing a silent sorry to James, he gripped his gun even tighter still.

James had frozen on the spot, his furious gaze darting between Aleks and the window. Flinching from the weight of the glare, Aleks stood, slowly, struggling to breath quietly as he peeked through the bars of the window.

The feral tilted her head to the side like a dog gazing into the room with a series of low clicks emanating from her throat, ending in the crescendo of a high pitched wail. She seized the bars of the window in her hand and began to shake them angrily.

James groaned and glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping boy. Abandoning pretense of stealth, he began eyeing the ceiling - possibly looking for vents or skylights. Luckily, in the far corner he spotted a vent that Aleks could fit in, but he and the kid would be hard pressed.

"We've got maybe two minutes before those things swarm. If they get past the walls we're boxed in. You hit that vent... And we throw them the kid."

“Wait, what? No!” Aleks hissed, suddenly furious that James would suggest that. “We’re not _killing him_ , not after all of this. No. Absolutely not. You throw him to those ghouls, and I swear to God James, I will shoot you in the knee and leave you with him.”

He couldn’t tell if James looked angry that Aleks disagreed with him, or impressed that he had stood up to him. If nothing else, James sighed, his eyes betraying his guilt and a tiredness that Aleks could only imagine.

“Wouldn't have been the first bad choice I’ve made to keep someone safe. Listen, we don’t have time for this right now, we’ve got maybe two minutes bef-”

His response was interrupted by the crashing of breaking glass, which heralded that the first wave of attack had begun. The first feral now stuck her arm through the bars and glass of the window, blood and tissue coated the hole she'd punched and hung from the now useless arm in tatters, the pale yellow of her radiated bones seemed to glow softly in the night. Suddenly, her skull was crushed beneath the weight of the horde shoving in behind her. They hit the walls madly, the wet thumping of rotting flesh beating against the brick and mortar hard enough to shake dust from the walls, chunks of plaster fell from the ceiling like a small earthquake had hit.

"Or maybe two seconds. I've been wrong bef-FUCK!"

Rushing forward, James jammed his knife - which has previously been sheathed at his hip - into the eye socket of one of the ghoul who had managed to jam it's head between the bars. A child.

But Aleks couldn't let himself think about that. Just like he couldn't struggle with the fact James been willing to sacrifice the kid to save himself and Aleks. 

Clicking the safety off, Aleks shot into the ghouls - aiming for those far enough away from James that there was no chance he could accidentally hit him - but each shot made his ears ring, pain shooting up his still sore arm. He used that pain to keep himself grounded, focusing on the task ahead of him, keeping one eye on James who had moved back slightly, picking up some rebar from the foundation and wielding it like a fencing saber.

 

***

  
  
Trevor woke slowly, the throbbing in his head and the noises around surprisingly soothed him. He'd just been tripping on some bad jet at a rave. Same ‘ole, same ‘ole. The ceiling wasn’t an unfamiliar sight - derelict buildings all tended to look the same. He moved his head to the side with a squint. A fight - also common, but that was… a vault suit? Wait, what?

It all came back, slowly: the big scavenger he'd been following for an hour. That pack was heavy, and he was too much to try and take alone but Trevor had the drop. And he needed the goods to pay his dues at camp… someone had knocked him out.

Hauling himself to a sitting position the young man scratched angrily at his tender closely shaven scalp, brunette stubble barely hid the deep purple bruise crowning his scalp. His hatchet features scrunched with pain and sudden vertigo.

"Where in the fuck am I?" He groaned, deep voice cracking with pain and frustration, he continued to demand an explanation until the horde of ferals drowned out the aching in his skull.

The scavenger was stabbing into the mob with a piece of rebar, looking for all the world like a soldier in work clothes. He stared briefly before turning back to the vault dweller just as the scavenger began roaring.

"GIVE THE LITTLE BASTARD A GUN, BLUE!"

The vault dweller - nicknamed after the suit, apparently - had fell back towards a bag further back in the room. Trevor assumed to get him the aforementioned gun, but his eyes clocked on to a heavy shotgun, which was much closer to him. Not needing further encouragement, Trevor leapt off the table and sprinted forward, seizing the shotgun and holding it astride his hip before firing. The first shot tore into the mob yet seemed to enrage the survivors. The door shook on its hinges as more of the creatures piled against it.

What a wild trip this was turning out to be.


End file.
